Your child also needs to learn what she may not so, and your reasons for any particular rules. When you forbid her to touch the stove, explain why. Remember that some rules will change as your child matures, and you will need to reevaluate them continually. Setting limits for your child is critical to fostering her autonomy. She can maintain her sense of security- the foundation stone of independence only when she feels sure of her boundaries
How you set limits affects your child’s personal growth. If you boss her around, telling her to “Do it because I say so,” you stifle her efforts to use her own initiative and leave her dependent, unhappy and angry. If instead you exercise little or no authority, letting her do practically anything she pleases, even things that hurt or disturb other people, you again deprive her of real independence. Without any clear boundaries, she is groping in the dark, feeling unsure of herself. You promote competence and autonomy in your child by being rational, firm, and consistent, yet warm and loving.